You Can Supercharge Your Life – Without the Energy Drinks

energy-drinks

We all want to be energized and fired up to take on the day. So much so, that we may turn to coffee for a pick me up. For some, that’s not enough. Bring on the energy drinks!

But haven’t you had days when you felt invigorated without having to slam an espresso? What’s happening on those days?

I bet you’re doing something you’re passionate about and that you love.

When I was a kid it was really hard to get out of bed to go to school every day. I hit the snooze bar several times, fell back asleep, moaned and groaned, and finally, begrudgingly got up.

But at the age of ten I joined a bowling league. (Yes, I was one of those kids.) The league was every Saturday at 9am. I had to get up at the same time I got up for school in order to be at the bowling alley on time. And here’s the strange thing. Even though I stayed up later on Friday nights than I did on school nights, I never hit the snooze bar on Saturday mornings. Most of the time I didn’t even need my alarm. I would happily pop out of bed and get ready to go bowling.

I didn’t wake up tired, I woke up inspired.

What made the difference in my wake up attitude? I loved bowling. I looked forward to it. (Maybe my mom should have taken me to a counselor. Hey, what’s wrong with bowling?) My best friend was on my team and I didn’t want to let him down. I was excited to get up early and go bowling.

I didn’t hate school. I liked some of my classes and I enjoyed seeing my friends. But the school structure did not excite me and most of my classes bored the mess out of me. It was tough to get excited about.

As an adult, I’ve noticed the same phenomenon.

While I’m giving a presentation to a few hundred people or hosting a radio show, or playing a gig with my guitar I don’t feel tired. I feel supercharged. I’m hyped. (Even when my radio show was four hours long every week day, it didn’t wear me out. It actually took me a while to calm down once I was off the air.)

I’m passionate about those things and I love doing them.

When’s the last time this has happened to you? Isn’t it amazing that you can work harder and longer doing what you love – and still feel more energized and satisfied – than working shorter hours doing something you hate?

Yes, we all have to do things we don’t want to do. But, how often?

Is there a way you could do more of what you’re passionate about and less of what drains your energy? Wouldn’t that be awesome? Wouldn’t that help you and everyone who comes in contact with you?

Sure, Greg, and then I’ll ride a unicorn over a rainbow into a pot of gold.

happy-unicorn-rainbow

I know it sounds impossible, but what if? How about this for a start?

1) Figure out what you love and what you don’t. Make a list of everything you do each day, for a week. Highlight all the activities you enjoy in green. Highlight all the activities you don’t enjoy in red.

Which type of activities are you spending most of your time on? If they aren’t the green ones, look out.

2) Now start looking for ways to minimize the red and maximize the green. Are there people who like what you dislike? Could you delegate to them? Could you group the things you dislike and do most of them once a week? Could you talk to your boss about where you do your best and see if that could be where you focus your time? Remember, it will help the company bottom line, too.

3) If none of that works, do you need to change jobs or careers to do more of what you’re passionate about?

4) Is there a way you can reframe the work you have to do that doesn’t energize you? Can you see the purpose of your work and how it helps others? For example, if you’re an insurance salesman instead of seeing your job as “selling insurance,” could you see it as helping people find the best way to keep themselves and their families healthy and financially protected?

5) Do this exercise with your personal life as well.

Life is too short to spend most of your week doing things that suck the life force out of you.

The world needs your best work and that work is driven by your passions. Find them…and you can throw out the energy drinks.

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

Are You Too Comfortable?

I like being comfortable, don’t you? Comfy chair, comfy car, comfy job, comfy relationships, comfy routine – who doesn’t like comfy? But what if your comfort level is stopping you from becoming great? What if it’s stopping you from doing great things?

Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it – right? Well, if you feel like comfy is “good enough,” then you’re done.

But doesn’t that mean you’ve stopped improving? Isn’t it fun to keep working at making everything better?

I’m reading, How Champions Think, by sports psychologist Bob Rotella. He’s worked with some of the biggest names in sports and business and he found that the people who achieve greatness don’t allow themselves to be comfortable.

“In sports and business, if you’re not aspiring to dominate, to be the very best, you’re coasting. And you can only coast in one direction.”
— Bob Rotella

The clients Bob likes to work with are the ones who say they want to be #1 in their field or the best golfer in the world. He doesn’t get too excited when a client says, I just want to get by, or, I just want to make the team.

The great ones start with big dreams and big goals, develop a process to reach them, and they put in the work to get it done.

“Going after big ideas takes sweat. It takes persistence, patience, and a bedrock belief in yourself. Not everyone will do it. That’s why we call it trying to be exceptional.”
— Bob Rotella

What might you miss out on because you’re comfy the way things are?

What could your career be like?

What could your marriage become?

What kind of life could you create?

uncomfortable

Have you ever gotten too comfortable and then regretted what you might have done? I know I have. I could have put more effort into basketball and gotten more playing time. I could’ve become a starter and even played in college. But I got comfortable, created excuses – I was too short, too slow, the coach didn’t want to play me – and I regret it to this day.

If we get too comfy with the way things are, we will never know what might have been. It’s really your decision, and neither choice is “wrong.”

Are you comfy and done trying to make things better? That can be a fine life.

Or are you comfy but willing to keep improving things for you and those you care about? What kind of extraordinary life could you create?

Which do you choose?

Don’t get too comfortable with who you are at any given time – you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.
–Jon Bon Jovi

bonjovi2

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click herethey can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

“Find Your Passionate Purpose” is Bad Advice!

WEB-Joe_Macerollo-FILE___Gallery

It has become trendy to say that following your passion will just lead to disappointment and the poor house. You’ll never be able to achieve your dream. You’ll put in a ton of work, spending a lot of money, and end a failure. Then, you come crawling back to your old, boring, frustrating job with your tail between your legs.

Sound familiar? Gee, I can’t figure out why fear holds some people back from creating the extraordinary life of their dreams!

Well, it can go like that if your passion is playing rap music on the accordion and singing after inhaling helium. (Hey, wait a second…that sounds kind of cool!)

But you know what’s even worse than finding your passion, going for it, and failing? Never even trying to figure out what you want in life, never even trying to go for it, and living a boring, frustrating, unhappy existence. Ready for me to sign you up for that?!

I don’t think some people understand what finding and pursuing your Passionate Purpose actually means.

  • It doesn’t mean wandering around for decades waiting for something to make your heart leap and then sliding down a rainbow into a pot of gold where you never have to do any hard work again.
  • It doesn’t even mean you were born with only one passion that will ever make you happy.
  • It doesn’t mean you can’t have multiple passionate purposes, or that they can’t change over time.
  • It doesn’t mean you immediately quit your current job and go broke trying to make your new thing work.
  • It doesn’t mean the first “passion” you try becomes your new career.

What it does mean is you were born for a purpose. You have a “why” in this world. When you find that, you find more meaning in your life. Your purpose can usually be pursued with talents and gifts you already have. How do you find them?

There are things you have done and experienced that you really liked and showed ability for. You already have some desires, beliefs, and values that could become something to build a life around.

Why not start pursuing one of those and see if it truly resonates with you? If it does, keep going and build on it. If it’s a vocational passion, see if you can start doing it on the side, without quitting your day job. If that goes well, keep expanding it and eventually see if you can replace your current job with it.

If it turns out you really aren’t that passionate about it after all…try another one of your passions! It’s ok to try new things. There is no ONE PERFECT PASSION FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE! (Well that’s not how it works for most of us.)

Most of us will have multiple passions that we want to include in our lives and they will change throughout the course of our lives. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Some of us will find a career we love and stick with it for 40 years. That’s great, too. Others of us will find ways to tweak what we do throughout our career to keep it fresh and exciting. And still others of us will decide to totally change our careers one or multiple times

There is no “right” way to go about this. But, I beg you to do it.

Some people claim you should just work hard at something and once you get better at it, you will become passionate about it. Well, I was really good at math in school. I worked hard at it – but I hated it. Should I have become an accountant or an engineer and tried to force myself to like it?

No thanks!

Doesn’t it make sense to try out things you really like (maybe even feel passionately about)? When something starts to click for you, that’s when you should develop your skills and become world class at it. That will grow your passion and your success.

But that isn’t the ending point. You will still need to research ways to monetize it. You will still need to create goals and action plans to get there. In other words, it still takes work.

But why wouldn’t you want to work at something you’re passionate about instead of something just to “earn a living?”

Follow your passion is great advice – if you understand what it really means.

Let’s GO!

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

You Are Exactly Where You’re Supposed to Be Right Now

 

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I missed my chance.
I made the wrong decision.
It’s too late for me.
I can never do it now.

Haven’t we all told ourselves that at some point? I know I have – too many times. But I don’t believe that anymore.

Here’s what I believe – because of what I’ve seen other people do, and what I’ve done:

You are exactly where you’re supposed to be. Every decision, moment, and event in your life has brought you here, reading this in order to do something extraordinary.

Isn’t that exciting? It can also be kind of scary. Fear will creep in and tell you that if you take a big leap you might fall flat on your face. You might lose everything, let your family down, and end up divorced and homeless.

Wow. That was a quick downward cycle, but I get it. Fear can be paralyzing.

But, what if you don’t have to take the huge leap? What if you can take some baby steps today that lead to big strides? What if the big strides can turn into jumps and then, one day, you take a big leap into the life you’ve always dreamed of?

People do it every day. Why not you?

Hey, even the tough times and difficult decisions we go through can be used to get us ready for something great.

It’s not too late.
Your chance is now.
Take action.

I’m almost 50. I’ve spent 21 years of my life as a radio talk show host. I’ve been in big markets and even been nationally syndicated. I’ve interviewed regular folks, authors, entrepreneurs, senators, governors, and presidents. It’s been a lot of fun.

But, my radio career may be ending. The business has changed. My last gig is done and I don’t want to move my family from city to city anymore. It may be time to do something else.

But, am I too old to start a new career? Can I do what I’m passionate about and make enough money to take care of my family?

I know what I want to do. I want to help people find and pursue their passionate purposes so they can live out extraordinary lives and help change the world. (I know that sounds corny, but I like corny. Corny inspires and motivates me.)

I plan on doing this through my blog, my books, my speaking, my online courses and my coaching. I’ve been working on this (off and on) for the last couple of years. But I haven’t gone “all in” on it.

I’ve been afraid. Afraid of:

No one wanting my help
No one wanting my products and services
Not knowing what to do
Not knowing how to do it
Not knowing how to let people know the great stuff I have to offer
Not knowing how to get to the people who book speakers like me
Not getting enough clients
Wasting my money and time trying to build my business
Failing

But I don’t want to live my life in fear. I don’t want to get to the end of it and look back in regret on what I could’ve done. I don’t want to meet God and have to explain why I didn’t use the talents he gave me to help other people lead extraordinary lives.

So, I’m going for it. I’m going to figure out everything I need to know to build my business and help other people. I’m still scared, but I’m going to do it anyway. (I’m also going to continue working a “real job” to generate income as I build my business – I’m not crazy.)

In fact, I’m going to start a pilot course in the next couple of months. I’m only going to take a limited number of students. The people who join me are going to co-create this course with me. It will include a very high level of personal, live support from me. If you’re interested, simply email me at greg@gregorybknapp.com and I’ll explain it in more detail.

What about you?

“Greg, I have an idea of what I’d really like to do, but I’m too old to do something different. That time has passed.”

Really? Too old? Check this out.

  • Grandma Moses didn’t start painting in earnest until she was 78.
  • Ray Croc didn’t start McDonald’s until he was 53.
  • Duncan Hines didn’t license the rights to use his name to the company that developed his cake mixes until he was 73.
  • Julia Childs didn’t make her television debut until she was 51.
  • Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t get Little House in the Big Woods published until she was 65.
  • Fauja Singh didn’t run his first marathon until he was 89.
  • Audrey Crabtree went back and graduated high school at the age of 99.
  • Frank McCourt didn’t publish Angela’s Ashes until he was 66.
  • Diana Nyad didn’t swim from Florida to Cuba until she was 64.

What about you?

Are you living out your passionate purposes? Have you created the life you were made to live? What are you going to do?

You’re reading this for a reason. You are exactly where you need to be right now to make a decision that will change your life forever.

Now is your time.

Let’s GO!

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click herethey can get the free eBook.

Your Money or Your Life – YES!

Why can't you have both?

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Did you hear about the depressed man who was mugged? A robber pulled a gun him and said, “Your money or your life!” The man hesitated so the thief said, “Didn’t you hear me? Your money or your life!” To which the depressed man replied, “I’m thinking it over!”

Regardless of the amount of money you make (or how depressed you are), your money is not worth more than your life.

Still, it doesn’t stink to have money, does it? Why can’t we have more money and more life? Why does it have to be one or the other?

It doesn’t.

I’ve been poor enough that my wife called me crying because she got a parking ticket. She wasn’t sure how we were going to pay it.

I’ve been rich enough to give money to a friend who needed a lawyer, provide meals to families going through hard times and to go on life-changing trips with my family.

Big insight coming…Being richer is better! You’re welcome.

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click herethey can get the free eBook.

Some people’s beliefs about money keep them from earning more. They think:

Limiting belief about money #1) Money is the root of all evil.

Sorry, the Bible says “the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” and it’s talking about making money your idol.

So don’t do that.

Limiting belief about money #2) Only greedy people who exploit and cheat others make a lot of money.

Did Steve Jobs or Bill Gates do that to get rich? Did Michael Jordan do that to earn his money?  The vast majority of high income earners serve their way to tremendous wealth.

Zig Ziglar had it right when he said, “You can get everything you want in this world if you just help enough other people get what they want.” 

The only way to become truly successful is to serve your way to success. You create quality products or services that people want and they will line up and happily give you their hard earned money. If you try to exploit them, you won’t last long and you won’t become successful.

“It’s not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It’s the customer who pays the wages.”
–Henry Ford

Limiting belief about money #3) If I get rich it will change me.

Money simply makes you more of what you are. If you’re a nice person, money lets you be nicer. Imagine how much you can help people, families and charities with more money.

If you’re a jerk, you might become an even bigger jerk.

So don’t do that.

Limiting belief about money #4) I will have to become a workaholic and ignore my family to make a lot of money.

Some people take that route. It goes to point number one about keeping the love of money in perspective. If you don’t, you’re truly giving up your life for money.

Some people want it so bad it becomes the focus of their lives. They plan out their major in college based on what has the highest earning potential. They go for the job with the best pay. They put in long hours to get the promotion. They put in even more hours to become partner. They are earning a great paycheck and then they realize they’re miserable, divorced and they don’t even know their kids.

So don’t do that.

Is there another way? Yes!

Making money at something you love makes you rich and filled with joy. You don’t have to work at the exclusion of play and family time.

Action steps:

  • Find your Passionate Purpose
  • Create your goals – including monetary goals
  • Develop your plan to get there
  • Take actions on your plan every day
  • Pursue other passions that bring you and your family happiness

You might be surprised how much you end up making and how much you’re helping others while doing it.

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”
–Julia Cameron

 Let’s GO!

What If You Could Be Who You Want To Be… Right NOW?

Young funny man in glasses writing on typewriter

 

Greg, you can’t just be what you want right now. That’s silly. Hold on a second, Mr. Doubter. It might not be what you think. Read on and then yell at me if I wasted your time.

Have you ever said anything like this to yourself?

Self, I wish I were a…

Writer
Entrepreneur
Musician
Business owner
Speaker
Teacher
Preacher
Actor
Artist
Tech developer

Have you followed that up with statements like these?

I’m not really a writer, business owner, teacher, musician, etc.
I could never make a living at that.
I don’t know enough to do that.
My work isn’t good enough to be that.
I would probably fail at that.
My friends would laugh at me if I tried that.

I have. I’ve talked myself out of a ton of fun, adventure, art, and good work before I even had the chance to try.

But I discovered something that changed all that for me: How to define who I am.

I am what I do, what I think, what I believe, and what I feel.

How do you define a writer? Isn’t it someone who writes? Isn’t a musician someone who plays music? Isn’t an entrepreneur someone who starts and runs a business? Is there anything in these definitions that says you have to be great at it, or make a living doing it? Is there anything that says you have to be a huge success and never have failed at it?

No!

So, I don’t let those concerns stop me anymore. When I want to be something, I just start doing it. That doesn’t mean I’m great at it immediately, but I am doing it. At that moment I become what I’m doing.

Why not you?

If you want to be an entrepreneur start working on a side business today.
If you want to be a teacher – teach.
If you want to be an artist – create art.
If you want to be a singer – sing!

But whatever it is, why not start doing it today? It will flip a switch in your mind to make what you want to become possible.

You might hate it. You might fail (temporarily).

But you also might love it and realize this is what you were made to do. You might just end up living that life of purpose, meaning, and joy that you always imagined.

Once you start doing it, you can truthfully say,
“I am an entrepreneur.”
“I am an artist.”
“I am a teacher.”
“I am a _____.”

This doesn’t mean you will immediately become great at what you love, but at least you’re now doing it and becoming it.

Don’t miss how important this process is in really finding your Passionate Purposes. Most of us drift through life not knowing what we really want to do or why we’re here. Some of us try to figure it out. We come up with ideas and feelings, but we’re never quite sure we’re really living out our purpose.

If that sounds like you then start by doing the work to figure out your potential Passionate Purposes. (My free ebook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose, and my longer book, GO! How to Find and Pursue Your Passionate Purpose, can help you with that.) And then start taking action in pursuing a few of them.

Try out all kinds of things that interest you and see where they take you. Taking action on one of your interests could lead to a burning passion that becomes your vocation. (It might even lead to a lifelong purpose that brings you great joy and wealth!) Or, you could find you really aren’t that excited about it after all. If so, just mark that one off your list and move on to your next potential purpose.

Taking action is the only way you will really know. But don’t try out all your ideas at once. One or two at a time is plenty or you’ll become so scattered you won’t accomplish anything.

Try at least one new thing this week and tell me how it goes. If I can help you with anything, just ask.

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

What If You Could Create Good Luck On Purpose?

lucky-7b

“That guy is so lucky. Why can’t I have that kind of luck?” You can, if you work at it.

“Greg, I think you’re missing the point of what luck is. You don’t work at it, you either have it or you don’t.”

What it that’s wrong? What if “luck” is actually something much different than we were raised to believe? What if you can create and grow “good luck”? That would be cool, wouldn’t it?

I don’t believe in “luck” the way most people define it. I think “luck” happens to people who work hard and look for opportunities. I think when we think positively, focus on our purpose and serve others we see and create good luck.

Professor Richard Wiseman did extensive research on this in his book, The Luck Factor. He discovered four common principles among his subjects on becoming “lucky.”

1) Maximize Chance Opportunities: LPs (lucky people) are open to what some people call chance opportunities or coincidences or serendipity. They look for them and act upon them. They’re also open to new ideas and experiences.

2) Listen to Lucky Hunches: LPs pay attention to that little voice inside them. They go with their gut.

3) Expect Good Fortune: LPs have a strong belief that things are going to work out for them. They always expect the best. This helps them create the future they want. LPs keep going in bad times because of their belief that good things are coming. It also helps them relate well with others. This helps them network and creates even more opportunities for them.

4) Turn Bad Luck to Good: Finally, when bad things happen to LPs they don’t think about them the same way unlucky people do. Instead, they truly look on the bright side. “It’s not that bad.” “It could have been worse.” “I can learn something from this.” “Here’s how I can fix it.” This allows LPs to quickly get back in the good-luck groove.

Lucky people build a strong “network of luck.” Your chances of meeting the right person increase with the number of people you engage with every day. Just like you will never be lucky enough to win the lottery if you never buy a ticket, you will never have that “lucky” encounter if you don’t bother to meet and engage with people on a daily basis.

If you truly enjoy meeting people and talking with strangers whenever the opportunity arises, you will become much luckier.

This really paid off for my wife and me when we were getting ready to put our house on the market for a big move to Dallas. We had only bought the home a year earlier and we knew by the time we paid the realtor we were going to lose money on the deal.

But, we stayed positive. We knew the move to Dallas was the right one, and knew I was going to use my purpose to serve a lot more people in Big D. We knew good things were coming our way.

I had a radio fundraiser that week at a children’s hospital. I talked to all the people manning the phones and had a great morning getting to know everyone.

A couple weeks later my wife and I were on our nightly walk in our neighborhood and I saw one of the guys I met at the fundraiser driving by. I waved him down, talked with him, and learned he was looking to buy a house in the area.

I explained we were getting ready to sell but hadn’t put it on the market yet. I invited him by to look at our home. It was perfect for his family and he asked me how much I wanted for it. I told him we had only bought it a year ago and just wanted to break even on it.

He said he would feel bad if I didn’t make something on it and offered me a couple grand more than I asked for!

Has this kind of thing ever happened to you? Was it “luck,” or was it an opportunity you created without even realizing it? When something that good happens I also like to think of it as a God wink, but God helps those who help themselves.

I believe in preparing yourself to take advantage of opportunities that will appear as you stay focused on your goals. If you are constantly thinking about where you want to go and improving yourself in every way to be the person you need to be to achieve the success you are working towards, you will see opportunities appear with increasing frequency. Is that luck? No. It’s the result of hard work and taking consistent action.

Some of the biggest breaks in my radio career came from “luck.”

Before and after I had my own syndicated radio talk show, I guest hosted for other national programs. I can’t tell you how many people would comment on how “lucky” I was to fill in for so many big-name radio stars. The truth is luck had nothing to do with it.

I worked hard at becoming a good host. I kept making demo tapes and sending them to program directors all across the country. (Yes, I started in radio when we still had things called “tapes,” even 8-track tapes!) Then I started asking the producers and hosts of the national shows if I could fill in for them when they were on vacation.

Now, when one of those hosts got sick and they needed someone to fill in at the last second, was it luck that I often got the call? Once I filled in and they liked what they heard, was it luck that I was asked to guest host again? When a smaller syndication company was looking for a new national host, was it luck that I got the gig?

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

Thinking Positively Is Not The Same As Lying To Yourself

positive

Because I generally have a positive outlook, I frequently have people ask me, “Greg, you’re not one of those positive thinkers looking at the world through rose-colored glasses are you?” Well, yes and no.

I am a positive thinker, but I’m not someone who ignores problems and pretends everything is perfect. That’s not being positive and optimistic. That’s being stupid.

The optimist throws the curtains open and says, “Good morning, God!” The pessimist rolls over and says, “Good god, it’s morning.”

If you’re having trouble paying your bills and instead of doing anything to fix the problem you simply think positive and hope your bills get paid, they will eventually come take your car, foreclose on your house, and you’ll be eating government cheese, living in a van, down by the river.

 

But that doesn’t mean the only thing you can do is focus on your poor financial situation. There is always more than one reality.

Reality 1: You don’t have enough money coming in.

Reality 2: You have a good job. You have opportunities for advancement. Maybe you can ask for some overtime work. You have skills to earn extra income. You could start a side business via the Internet. You could cut back on some of your expenses that aren’t necessities, etc.

The reality you focus on will greatly affect your mood, actions, and outcome.

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Dr. Wayne W Dyer

Remember, you aren’t lying to yourself or ignoring reality. You are choosing to focus on the reality that will help you the most.

Research shows that to get the best results you need to focus on the positives three times as much as the negatives. The next time you think of something negative, immediately think of three positive things in your life. Make that a new habit.

It’s something all of us can start doing today. When I do it, I move forward and feel better. Let me know how it works for you…and get rid of the van down by the river. It’s kinda creepy.

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

Is Something From Your Past Holding You Back?

You Can Choose to Change Your Memories

past

Everyone has something in their past they wished they could forget, change, or go back and fix. If we think about it too much, we can allow that moment in time to hold us back from living our best life. For some of us, we can even allow one bad memory to ruin our lives. Do you have a bad memory that you keep replaying in your head? Does it keep coming back and put you in a bad mood?

What if you could choose to stop reliving it? Better yet, what if you could change what the memory means to you?

I thought about this when I heard Mike Golic on ESPN talk about the worst loss of his life. It was a high school wrestling match in 1981. He says he still thinks about it. His wife says he still talks about it so much that she tried to call the wife of the guy he lost to so they could actually set up a rematch.

Wow.

Mike Golic played football and wrestled for Notre Dame. His record on the mat was 24-4-1 He played in the NFL for eight years. He won in sports time after time.

Yet, he’s still reliving a match from 37 years ago! Dude, let it go.

Greg, it’s not that easy! It’s like when a song gets in your head and you can’t stop singing it all day long. If I could stop it I would.

I get that. But we have tremendous power over what we put in our long-term memory banks. What do you focus on and think about over and over? Is it your worst losses or your greatest wins?

Yes, learn from your mistakes, but then quit reliving them. Move on. Relive your victories and all the things you did right. Build your confidence.

When a bad memory pops in your head, think about what you can learn from it. If the answer is nothing, then tell yourself you are not going to let that one moment in time affect how you feel anymore. Any time that memory starts to come up, yell STOP! (You may want to use your inside voice if other people are around. We don’t want the men in white coats, carrying nets to come for you.) Then focus on a good memory. Relive a time in your life when you were kicking butt. Ruminate on that and feel the good feelings.

If you can learn something from the old memory, acknowledge what it is. Thank your brain for helping you remember and learn that lesson. Then say to yourself, “I have learned that lesson. I never have to think about this again. To lock that in, go ahead and take action on the lesson that old memory taught you. If you can’t do that, get your brain thinking about something great you’ve done recently and focus on that.

Another great technique is to get busy making some new memories. Do something to disrupt the pattern of replaying and solidifying that bad memory in your head.

It’s almost impossible to tell yourself not to think about something. (Quick, don’t think about a purple eight-foot tall Easter bunny hopping on your front lawn.) Replace what you don’t want to think about with something awesome you do want to think about.

Try writing down your dreams, goals, and plans. When you’re writing, it’s very hard to think about anything else. Review them every morning when you wake up and every evening right before you go to bed. I know you’ve heard that before, but have you ever done that for 30 days in a row? It could change your life.

If you train your brain to focus on your successes, that will become its default setting.

This will come in handy when you’re about to do something new or big. Think back to when you’ve succeeded in similar instances and replay them in your mind. Your subconscious mind treats your successful visualizations the same as successes in the real world. Use that to build your confidence. (I know this sounds a little weird, but try it and then get back to me.)

Let’s GO!

I now offer one to one coaching and an online coaching program for various budgets. Click here for more details.

Eliminate One Word to Build Rapport, Gain Influence, and Achieve More Goals

but

Think back to the last time you said something and the person you were talking to said, “But…” I bet that felt great! We all love it when that happens!

When we hear “but” we hear rejection, negativity, correction and worse. It says, I heard you, but here’s where you’re wrong.

Does it make you like the person who said it? Does it make you more likely to agree with them and want to work with them? No! So why do we say it to other people all the time?

But, Greg! Sometimes other people are wrong. Am I just supposed to act like they’re right so they’ll like me?

No, of course not. (And did you notice you used, “but” again? It kind of put me on the defensive.) Here’s my point. How about if there was a better way to explain your point without having to overtly disagree?

Try this. Eliminate the word “but” from your vocabulary. Instead use “and,” or when you can, “yes, and.”

Which of these would work better if someone said it to you?

“I hear what you’re saying, Stacy, but I think this way fits our needs better.”

“I hear what you’re saying, Stacy, and I think this way fits our needs better.”

“You did a great job, Stan, but

“You did a great job, Stan, and

“I completed 5 things on my to do list, but I didn’t do 3 others.”

“I completed 5 things on my to do list, and I’m going to do the last three first thing in the morning.”

The word “but” can even shut down great possibilities.

“I want to see Australia, but I’m afraid of flying.”

Well, I guess you’re never going down under, Mate! No shrimp on the barbi for you. Keith Urban and Crocodile Dundee will always be strangers. The cute koalas are out of reach. You’ll never box a kangaroo…(OK, I’m out of Australia ideas) How about this, instead:

“I want to see Australia, and I’m afraid of flying.”

You’re still afraid of flying and it sounds like you’re open to working on that. Now you can find a way to overcome your fear and go see the Sydney Opera House. (I thought of one more Aussie thing!)

I know changing “but” to “and” is a small change, and it can really help build rapport and increase your influence.

Try it for a week and see what happens. It will take some practice, and it’s worth it.

Let’s GO!

I now offer one to one coaching and an online coaching program for various budgets. Click here for more details.