Changing is Hard, Not Changing is Worse

Shhh! You’re not supposed to tell people it’s hard. It’s supposed to be easy if you just follow my five-step plan and send me $99.99!

But, it’s the truth and we all know it. Changing, learning, and growing is scary and hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it. (Hey you can still send me the $99.99 if you want.)

Why is it so hard and scary to change?

“Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.”
— James Belasco and Ralph Stayer

Even if what we’re doing isn’t getting us everything we want, it’s getting us something: It’s comfortable. It’s not that bad. We’re getting by. We’re making a living… We’ve created habits.

We start shoulding on ourselves (and that gets messy fast). I shouldn’t be so selfish in wanting more than I have. I should feel lucky I have a job. I should stop dreaming about things that will never happen.

We start believing the worst that could happen: I could lose my job, my home, declare bankruptcy, get divorced and end up living in a van down by the river!

All these things work against us.

So, why even try to change, grow and learn? Because it’s worth it.

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

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When I was a little boy I wanted to make a big change. I wanted to stop riding with training wheels and ride a big boy bike. I was scared of getting hurt, but I really wanted to learn. My older brother taught me.

We lived on a hilly street. My brother had me get on the bike at the top of the hill. He would run alongside me holding the bike until we stopped in our driveway. Then we’d walk the bike back to the top of the hill and start the whole process again.

I started getting pretty good. The next time down the hill I was feeling great, I was really moving. I turned into my driveway and was hurtling toward the closed garage door. I yelled to my brother, “Dave, stop. Stop! Dave, stop!” Bam! I crashed right into the garage door.

My brother thought I was doing so well he could let go of the bike and quit running beside me. The problem with that was he didn’t tell me and didn’t teach me how to stop.

It hurt. I had a big lump on my head. But I didn’t say, “Well that bike riding stuff hurts. I’m never doing that again.” I wanted to ride a big-boy bike without training wheels. I wanted to keep up with all the other kids. I wanted to be miles from my house with my parents having no idea where I was!

I put my football helmet on and got back on my bike. I learned how to ride my bike and it was glorious. It also taught me how important pushing through the pain to make a change is.

You might not have a brother who rammed you into a closed garage door, (Thanks, Dave!) but I bet you fell a few times learning to ride your bike. I also bet that didn’t stop you from learning to ride. Why would you risk getting hurt again? Why not give up? Because we all know that short term pain is worth the long term gain.