Category Archives: frustration

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How to Have the Successful Mindset

And Episode 6 of my podcast is now up!

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A large part of how successful you are, or will become, is determined by how you think about yourself.

Do you think you can be successful? Do you think you’re smart enough, talented enough, or connected enough? Do you think you deserve to be successful? Do you think as if you’re an employee or as if you’re the owner?

Um, Greg, I am an employee, I’m not the owner.

Maybe…

Think like an employee and get employee results. Think like the owner and get owner results.

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But, if you want owner salary, benefits, and results – think like the owner.

How?

Have you heard of Richard Montañez? He was a Mexican immigrant who didn’t speak English well. He had trouble figuring out his purpose and dropped out of school. He was a janitor at a Frito-Lay plant in California.

One day he saw a video where the Frito-Lay CEO told all the employees that they should be thinking like owners of the business. They should be looking for ways to improve the company and make it more competitive. Richard took that to heart.

He liked spicy foods. One day, thinking like the owner, inspiration hit.

“I see the corn man adding butter, cheese and chile to the corn and thought, what if I add chile to a Cheeto?”

He went home and experimented. His friends and family loved the spicy Cheetos. Richard could have stopped right there, but he didn’t.

He kept thinking like an owner. He called the CEO and got an appointment to pitch the executives on his new product. He bought his first tie, got a marketing strategy book from the library, and went for it.

The CEO loved his concoction and “Flaming Hot Cheetos” were born.

Richard is now Executive VP, Multicultural Sales and Community Activation, for PepsiCo North America. He serves on several boards, has spoken at the United Nations and has even met presidents.

He says it’s all the result of his Ph.D. (poor, hungry and determined) and thinking like the owner.

It doesn’t matter what your title is or where you work, you really are your own boss. You get to decide if you work, where you work, what type of work you do, how to increase the value you provide, how and if you continue to grow, and where you’re going to work next. You get to decide to be happy or miserable, or to do something about how you feel.

You get to choose your life. Don’t give that power away to anyone or anything.

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Of course there are consequences to choices, but you get to make these choices. Don’t give your power to decide to someone else, circumstances, or society. If it feels like someone else is making these decisions for you, reclaim your power. Do what it takes to make the choices you want to make. Use your power to pursue your Passionate Purpose.

No matter where you work, or what you do, no one can stop you from thinking like the owner except you.

I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. – W.E.Henley

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You may need to keep working somewhere that isn’t your ideal choice in order to pay the bills. That’s ok. While you’re there, do your best, think like the owner, and keep working to make the right choices to create your extraordinary life.

I’ve had to do that multiple times in my life. I worked as a ditch digger and construction worker as I was pursuing my job as a mental health counselor. I worked overnights at a mental health facility while beginning my radio career. I kept working on the radio, and even sold insurance, while I worked on my speaking, coaching, and podcasting business.

Keep learning and developing your skills wherever you are right now. You will use them all as you make the choices to get where you want to be.

To achieve greatness, start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can-Arthur Ashe

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Questions for comment: What can you do to think like the owner? What new idea or way of doing things could make a big difference?

LET’S GO!

Are you searching for your Passionate Purpose? Start with my free gift, 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

 

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How Do I Find My Passionate Purpose?!

There's more than one way...

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Do you feel stuck? Are you and tired of drifting through life? Do you know this isn’t the life you were born to live? Do you feel like there’s something better out there for you but you’re confused on exactly what that is? Are you frustrated because you know you have something important to share with the world but you can’t quite put your finger on what and how? (Are you tired of me asking you questions? OK, I’ll stop.)

If you’re struggling to find your Passionate Purpose, I get it. I spent years (a lot of money, late nights, and diet mountain dews) trying to figure it out. Along the way I’ve had several different Passionate Purposes. (Yes, you can have more than one and they can change as you grow.)

That’s what I want you to know today. There’s more than one way to find your calling. One way is no more “right” than any other.

Don’t feel like something is wrong with you because you haven’t always known what your purpose is.

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Some people are struck by lightning when they’re young, they know why they were born and they pursue their passion for the rest of their lives. (I tend to hate I mean be jealous of those people. My daughter has known she wants to be an actress since she was six. She’s earning her BFA in acting and planning to go to L.A. after that. Her years of hard work and her passion for acting have made her really good. Look for her on TV or in the movies soon!)

Some people are unsure of their purpose, but instead of trying to figure it out they just drift through life. They take the path of least resistance, get a job, go to work, wait for the weekends and 2 weeks off a year and sadly accept that is all life has to offer. You’re not one of those people or you wouldn’t be reading this.

Still others use their feelings of frustration and uneasiness to push them to try a bunch of different ideas until something resonates with them. They keep going with it until their desire builds or burns out.

There is no right way, but there is a right way for you.

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Maybe you’re like me and you need to spend time searching for your purpose that will lead you to the extraordinary life of your dreams. I spent countless hours thinking introspectively to determine why I was here. I read books, listened to tapes, went to church, attended seminars, watched videos, prayed, kept journals, and did all kinds of exercises.

Then I took action and tried what I thought was a passionate purpose of mine. Sometimes, my desire for it fizzled. Other times, the more I did it, the more excited I got. I took that as a good sign and put more and more effort into it.

That works for me. I put that in the present tense because I continue to work on personal growth in every part of my life. But that’s me, not necessarily you.

You might do best trying a combination of these methods, or something totally different might get you where you want to go. But, don’t give up. Your Passionate Purpose is inside you. Your challenge is to find it and get busy going after it. It’s what can turn your life from boring to bold – from pointless to purpose filled – from everyday to extraordinary. Don’t you want that?

Finding your purpose can change your life from everyday to extraordinary.

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A good starting point is my free ebook – 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose – or my paperback – GO! How to Find and Pursue Your Passionate Purpose. These will aid you in turning inward and finding a starting point to an extraordinary life.

Even after you think you know what your Passionate Purpose is, you will still take some detours and hit some speed bumps along the way. You might decide to change your mind and pursue something else.

All of this is OK.

Walk your own path.

Just remember, the alternative is you never try to create the life you’ve dreamed of. You stay stuck, drifing, frustrated, and depressed. (Sounds super fun, right?!)

A person with a strong enough purpose doesn’t need a snooze button.

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Some things are the same for all successful people. They know what they want, why they want it, they take consistent action and – even if they stall out for a while – they keep going.

Questions: 1) If you’re stuck, which method(s) will you try to get you started on what you want.

2) What action can you take right away to get you on your path?

I want this on my tombstone: He followed his purpose and greatness happened.

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Let’s GO!

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

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If You’re About to Give Up, Read THIS First!

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You’ve been working really hard and you’re frustrated. All the big ideas, extra hours, sacrifices, and effort you’ve put in have gotten you…what?

Exactly Jack Squat!

Maybe.

But what if you’re this close to a breakthrough? What if that last little bit of work will put you on a path to something that could really change your life?

Some of the best things in my life happened just before I was about to give up.

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My first job in talk radio way back in the 90s was not as a talk show host. I was working for minimum wage doing all the grunt work and overnight shifts. I even had to buy time to get a chance to be on the air. Fairly quickly they were “kind” enough to let me provide a show for the station for free, but I still wasn’t getting paid.

YES! I always wanted to work for free! Ok, maybe not. I wasn’t exactly reaching my radio dreams…yet.

Even though my wife’s job and my part time job as a mental health counselor were earning enough to support us, I felt like I was letting her down. I told her I was about to quit the radio dream and get a full time counseling job.

She convinced me to stay at it at least until the end of the year. (She’s awesome.) She said, “Hey, you’re actually pretty good at this.” (Yeah, she’s funny, too.)

About a month later I was offered a full time job as a talk show host on the number one station in town. That was the start of my 21 year career as a radio talk show host including national syndication and stints in Dallas, Kansas City, and Jacksonville. What if I’d given up one month before my big break?

I was reminded of this while I was watching The Voice with my daughter. One of the contestants is married with children. He’s a teacher and sings on the side. He’s been doing it for over a decade without much success. He told his brother he was about to give up on the idea of a singing career – and then he got a spot on The Voice.

What if you’re that close?

Before you give up, think about why you held on for so long.

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Before you give up, do a double check:

1) Remember why you want this. Is that why still strong for you? Why are you working this hard? Why are you doing what other people aren’t willing to do? Isn’t is because then you will get to do what other people aren’t able to do?

2) Review the progress you’ve made so far. You might be surprised at what you’ve already accomplished.

3) Review your plan. What parts are working? What parts aren’t working? What could you change to get better results?

4) Imagine what your life would be like if this started turning around for you? What would change? How would that impact you, and those around you? How would it make you feel?

It always seems impossible until it’s done. ―Nelson Mandela

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5) Give yourself some grace. Maybe you just need to slow down and take a bit more time on this. Maybe you’re burning yourself out and expecting too much too soon. Go for smaller successes and then build to bigger things. You’re human, and that’s ok.

6) Email me before you give up and see if I can help you! greg@gregorybknapp.com

“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.”
– T.F. Hodge

Question for comment: How do you keep going when you feel like giving up?

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

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How to Keep Going When You Feel Like Quitting

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You have a Passionate Purpose and you’re going for it, but your motivation is failing. You’re just not sure all the effort is worth it.

Or, you have a goal that you’ve started working on several times, but you just can’t seem to achieve it.

I feel ya.

Recently, I put on a “little weight” (and we all know what that means). I know it’s not good for me, I don’t feel very good when I overeat, and I don’t like how I look. I saw a picture of myself on my phone and thought, who’s the chubby dude?

It’s me. Doh!

Have you noticed that no matter how much weight you put on, you call it a ‘little weight’?

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So I set a goal target weight, figured out how many pounds I could lose per week, and decided when I would meet my goal. Then I planned how many calories a day I would consume.

For the first few days I was doing great! Then, the weekend came and I had a cheat day. That turned into a cheat weekend. Then, I was hit or miss on my diet. This went on for a few months.

I was so frustrated with myself. Why couldn’t I do this? I figured out that I hadn’t tied my goal to a strong enough why. When you want to eat your favorite foods, or you want to overeat, or you want to have a couple of drinks (high in empty calories) what are you going to tell yourself to stay motivated?

If you’re struggling with a goal, tie it to some strong whys.

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I have now created some strong short and long term “whys” for my weight loss goal. My daughter is graduating high school in 8 weeks. So I’m tying my goal and deadline to that.

Short term why:
To look my best for her party and all the family photos.

Long term whys:
To live healthier and longer for my wife and daughters
To have more energy
To feel better after I eat (not stuffed and bloated)
To look better for my wife and myself
To be a good example for my daughters

Now every time I start to think about slipping back to my old ways of eating, I read my “whys.” That helps me focus on the short-term and long-term pleasure I will get instead of the short-term pain I’m feeling.

I still have a cheat day once a week, but I don’t turn it into an all-I-can-eat day like I used to.

You can use this with any goal or purpose you’re struggling with. Tie it to a strong why. Focus on it. Say it out loud to yourself if you need to. Meditate on it until you feel your motivation kick in again.

You can do it.

Let’s GO!

(I’m now offering a 40 day online coaching course to kick start finding and pursuing your Passionate Purpose.)

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“All Feedback is Welcomed?” I disagree

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Feedback is always good and you should always take feedback, right? That’s’ the conventional wisdom. We have to be able to take feedback if we want to be successful. We can learn a ton about what we’re doing right and wrong. We can learn more about our customers, audience, clients, and more. We can use feedback to improve our products, services, presentations, and sales calls. Feedback is awesome.

Hey, conventional wisdom on feedback – YOU’RE WRONG!

Yes, sometimes feedback helps us. Sometimes it’s awesome.

But sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes we should let it roll off our backs, or even totally ignore it.

How do you know when to listen and when not to?

Feedback to listen to and act on:

  • When someone specifically praises something you’ve done, you know you need to keep doing it, and maybe even do more of it.
  • When someone – who wants to help you improve – is telling you what they believe you’re doing wrong with your products or service. Even if the customer is mad at you, this feedback is valuable. You may be able to fix your customer’s problem and turn her into a loyal customer. She may have found a problem you didn’t know existed that now makes what you do better for everyone.

I get some great feedback from you:

Greg, I really liked the section in your book where you say you can overcome your fear by taking action. I finally figured out that fear was holding me back.

Greg, I love your FB posts. They really encourage me. Please keep them up.

Greg, the audio on one of your videos on YouTube isn’t very good. You should re-record it.

Greg, I bought your audiobook and the link didn’t work. (I got that email the day I released the audiobook. I fixed it right away. My customer was happy and he helped me, big time.)

To all of those examples I say, thanks for the feedback.

Feedback to ignore:

When someone just wants to hurt you. These people don’t want to help you. They aren’t looking for a solution to a problem with your product or service. They just want to be mean.

Greg, You’re radio show is the worst I’ve ever heard. You’re a %$&*!

Greg, you’re ideas are stupid. My dog is a better blogger than you.

There’s not much I can do with that, is there? I don’t even respond to that type of feedback. All that does is feed the trolls.

Have you noticed that you can have 99 pieces of great feedback and yet focus on the one jerk who told you how awful you are? I know I do that sometimes. Why? It does nothing to help us.

Remember: You get to decide if the feedback is valuable. You get to decide if you’re going to allow it to impact your day and your life.

  • Focus on the good.
  • Fix what you can.
  • Find ways to improve.
  • Ignore the trolls.

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

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Can YOU Really Get the Life You Want? Yes! If…

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You’re excited about the idea of finding and pursuing your passionate purpose. You’ve visited a few websites about it, watched some videos, and maybe even read a book about how to do it. You’ve been dreaming about what your best life would look like.

But…nothing’s changed. You aren’t taking action. Five years ago you were in the same situation and a year from now?

Why?

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
–Amelia Earhart

If you read my blog, social media posts and book, you know I’m a super positive, encouraging, optimistic guy. (And humble!)

But, let’s get real here, ya’ll. Tough love time. IF you really want to live an extraordinary life where you pursue your Passionate Purpose, I can’t sugar coat this.

If you have thought about it – or tried to do it – before and failed, you’ve made excuses.

Here are some that I’ve heard (and used myself from time to time).

  • Only the lucky few get to do that
  • I’m not rich enough
  • I’m afraid I’ll fail
  • I don’t have the right connections
  • I’m not a genius
  • I’m afraid I’ll lose all my money
  • You have to be really talented to do that
  • I don’t know how to do it
  • I’m afraid I’ll get divorced over it
  • I don’t want to sacrifice my wife/husband/kids/relationships to do that
  • I’m not educated enough
  • Now’s not the right time
  • It’s too hard
  • I won’t make enough money to live on if I do that
  • I’m not good enough
  • I don’t deserve it
  • People from my family don’t do that
  • It’s selfish and greedy to want to do that
  • I don’t have enough time to do everything I would need to do
  • I’ll do it someday

Those are just some of the excuses I’ve heard to make people feel better about giving up on their dreams. I’m sure you could help me come up with more. Some of these concerns are real. I don’t want to suggest that going after what you really want is easy and requires no sacrifice. That’s just dreaming.

But, if you really want to pursue your Passionate Purpose and go after that extraordinary life, you have got to cowboy up for a serious ride.

You really can get the life you want…if.

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Do you really want to look back on your life and list the excuses why you never tried? Do you want to use your children, spouse and friends as human shields to protect you from your fears of going for something great? Do you really believe that ALL successful people are divorced, greedy, horrible human beings who sacrificed all their values to get where they are in life?

Am I going to stop talking in questions? Yes. Right now.

The reason you aren’t taking action and going after this isn’t because you don’t have talent—nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. It’s not because you aren’t smart enough, don’t know the right people, or don’t have enough money to get started. It’s not because you don’t have enough time. We all have the same 24 hours in each day.

Look, all the excuses really boil down to one. Fear.

Change is scary. All those excuses we listed create fear. Your mind is screaming at you to avoid fear and risk. Subconsciously, your brain is telling you that you get more out of not changing than you think you would get out of changing.

But, I really want to change. What? Your actions are so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying.

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IF you really want this, it’s time to convince yourself these aren’t just wants, they are needs.

Time to convince yourself that the fear and pain that always comes with change is worth it for the chance to live the extraordinary life of your dreams.

Time to convince yourself that NOT changing is risky, too. Imagine living your whole life and NEVER going for what you could have had!

If you are tired of just getting by and letting days, months, and years slip past without achieving what you know you were put on this earth by your Creator to do, then now is the time.

Get your mindset right.
Understand fear creeps in but can be handled.
Determine what you want.
Set your course.
Take action.
GO!

How much longer will you wait?

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

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More People Care About You Than You Know

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Sometimes something bad has to happen for you to realize how many people care about you.  I just found that out and I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of support and encouragement I have received from people who care about me.

I bet you have many more people who care about you than you know as well. (I just hope you don’t have to experience something bad to discover it.)

After my radio show last Wednesday I was told that corporate was looking at saving money and decided the best way to do that was to lay me off. For the past 5 years I have consistently had the highest ratings on the station, so I was told repeatedly it was not about my performance. My general manager was very kind in telling me how much she appreciated my show and my work.

This sometimes happens in radio. Does it stink and hurt? Yeah, but I get it. I’ve been in the business for 20 years now. It’s actually been great to me. I’ve had more fun and made more money at it than anything else I’ve done in my life. And it’s not over, yet. This is just a temporary setback. I’ve already had people express interest in my show and I’m excited about what might come next.

I hope this doesn’t come off as humble bragging but I really want to thank everyone publicly who reached out to me and share with you why I feel so good on the heels of losing my radio show. I sincerely thank you for reaching out and lifting me up. I can’t express in words how much each of your comments mean to me.

I’m really energized about how I can use this time to ramp up my Personal Development business. I love speaking to organizations, colleges, high schools and churches on the power of purpose and how it can change your life and work.

I love coaching people to help them find and pursue their Passionate Purpose.

I’m starting to write my second book and creating online courses.

Just this week I’ve had three new speaking engagements booked and two new coaching clients.

What I’m even more excited about and what blew me away was the response I received after I posted on my Facebook page that my show was taken off the air. Kind words and messages came flooding in from friends, family, and listeners of my show.

You told me how my book has changed your life. (That makes me feel incredible.)

You asked if I could coach you.

You told me how you felt like I was your friend because of how I related to you on the radio everyday. (That’s the best compliment I could ever get about my show. Every time I turn on the microphone I picture myself talking to a friend. When you feel that, I’ve done my job.)

You told me how you made a point to tune into my show everyday because I entertained you, informed you and made you feel something.

You praised me for being so prepared for every show. (That one really got me because I pride myself on reading and being over-prepared each day.)

You asked me to send you information on my speaking so you can help book me to present at your company’s convention.

You prayed for me. One of you even called me up and said a prayer for me right on the spot.

Awesome.
Overwhelming.
Humbling.

I had no idea how many people cared about me and wanted the best for me. It has lifted me up as I’ve pondered what’s next.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am at peace with the idea that better things are coming. I know I’m here for a purpose and God has plans for me.

It’s time for me to keep practicing what I preach. I know my Passionate Purpose is to help as many other people and organizations find their Passionate Purpose as possible so they can live out the extraordinary lives of their dreams.

That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

What are you going to do?

Why do you get up in the morning? Are you happy with the answer? Let’s GO!

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Thanks so much for caring about me. Let me know what I can do to help you.

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

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Are You Letting Someone You Don’t Even Like Control Your Day?

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Man that guy is a jerk! I can’t believe how he talked to me. I wish I’d had a snappy comeback to put him in his place. He got me so upset I’m still mad about it. I wish I could just let it go, but it’s eating me up inside.

Have you ever felt like that?

We’ve all been there. It’s part of life. But how we react to these situations is up to us. Do you want to be upset all day long? Better yet, do you want to let this guy you don’t even like ruin your entire day?

Why give someone you don’t even like the power to ruin your entire day?

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OK, Greg, I’m with you. I don’t want to let this jerk control me, but how do I let it go?

1) Realize that you are in control of how you react to this. You get to decide if you’re going to continue to be angry, sad, hurt, or whatever because of what happened earlier. He can’t make you feel bad unless you let him.

2) Decide what role you played in the conflict and if there was anything you could have done differently. Sometimes we’re actually in the wrong. (I’m sure that’s rare, though, right? Ha!)

3) Write down your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Sometimes it helps to write the person an email telling him exactly how you feel. DON’T SEND IT. This is just to get your feelings down so you can let it go and think about something else.

4) Review some of the successes you’ve had in similar situations. Take a minute to be grateful for all the things that are going well today.

5) Tell yourself you are not going to give that person the power to ruin one more second of your day. Let it go. If thoughts about the conflict come up again, simply acknowledge them and let them flow right out of your head.

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. –Epictitus

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

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Workin’ Hard Getting Nothing Done

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We all work hard and it seems like there’s always more work to be done. My last two posts were on 7 Steps to Having More Time. (Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2)

I’ve noticed something about myself and I’m wondering if it’s the same for you. When I plan out my day to focus on my most important thing and stick to the plan I get a ton done.

“Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?'”
— Marcus Aurelius

When I just have an idea of what I’m going to do, I don’t get as much done. Yet, I still feel like I worked just as hard. How does that happen?

This morning I realized how it happens for me.

I work from home in the mornings and I had great plans on important things to do. But, first I decided I needed to merge my domain email with my Gmail account — 40 minutes gone. Next, I decided I needed to upload the video of my daughter’s performance with the Starlight Stars. My phone didn’t sync with my Mac, so I had to download a program – 30 minutes gone.

Then I noticed a few hundred photos on my phone that were taking up space so I decided I needed to upload select photos from my phone to my Mac – another 20 minutes gone.

And so it went:

Send YouTube video I created to a contact (and watch some of my old ones) – 30 minutes

Check and reply to FB messages and notifications – 10 minutes

Check my LinkedIn account and reply to messages – 10 minutes

Renew my library books online – 5 minutes

I finally shook myself and realized that although I felt like I was working I had spent almost 2 hours doing absolutely no work on my most important thing. Not good.

I hadn’t planned well, and I wasn’t even sticking to my not so great plan. It wasn’t that the things I was doing were bad, it’s just that they were taking me away from the more productive things I really wanted to get done.

Focus, Grasshopper, focus.

We can spend all day on things that aren’t very important, or we can focus on what’s essential.

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At the end of the day we’re usually tired. If we’ve run around all day chasing our tail, putting out fires and just doing “work” we will experience an empty, dissatisfied, frustrated kind of tired.

If we focus on what’s essential and make great progress on that, we will experience a job well done, life is good, now I’ve earned some relaxation time kind of tired.

Questions for comments: How do you stay focused on your plan?

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.