One Habit You Must Have to Develop a Successful Mindset

and an interview with Tom Ziglar on my podcast

 

mindset

I had Tom Ziglar (proud son of Zig Ziglar) on my podcast this week, and he quoted his dad about how to achieve the successful mindset. I can’t stop thinking about it.

It really stuck with me because of all the negativity in our society and how easy it is to feed on that every day. The news on the Internet, TV, and radio is almost all negative. The content of most movies and TV/streaming shows is negative. The conversation we hear at work – and even with our friends – is often negative. We are being fed a steady diet of mental poison. Is it any wonder most of us have a negative mindset? And how much harder is it to achieve your goals with a negative mindset?

The number one habit to achieving a successful mindset is to feed your mind with the good, the clean, the pure, the powerful, and the positive. Not just about the world, but about you. That helps motivate, encourage, and push you to keep doing the things you know you need to do to reach your goals.

Zig also said this:

“You are what you are and you are where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You change what you are and you change where you are by changing what goes into your mind.”

What you read, watch, listen to, and tell yourself can be toxic. It can suck the life-force right out of you if you let it. Are you seeing, hearing, and reading things like this?

“You can never be successful.”

“You don’t deserve that.”

“Rich people are greedy and exploit others.”

“The game is rigged against you.”

“Things are changing so fast, you can’t keep up.”

“You’re too old.”

“It’s too late for you to make money doing that.”

“Just keep your head down and do what they expect.”

“Other people can do that, but you can’t.”

“It’s just too hard.”

You can also choose to see, read, hear, and watch things that will create a positive loop in your brain. It will make it easier to think thoughts like these:

“You were created for a fantastic reason.”

“You are worthy of the extraordinary life of your dreams.”

“You can get everything you want in this life if you help enough other people get what they want.” (Zig Ziglar)

“Your hard work is paying off.”

“If someone else can do it, you can do it.”

The real question is: Are you eating mental food that builds you up, or tears you down?

Beware all types of mental poison. Avoid it the way you avoid drinking bleach. Feast on the most positive stuff you can find.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” — Philippians 4:8(NIV)

Let’s GO!

Are you searching for your Passionate Purpose? Start with my free gift, 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

How to Have the Successful Mindset

And Episode 6 of my podcast is now up!

 

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A large part of how successful you are, or will become, is determined by how you think about yourself.

Do you think you can be successful? Do you think you’re smart enough, talented enough, or connected enough? Do you think you deserve to be successful? Do you think as if you’re an employee or as if you’re the owner?

Um, Greg, I am an employee, I’m not the owner.

Maybe…

But, if you want owner salary, benefits, and results – think like the owner.

How?

Have you heard of Richard Montañez? He was a Mexican immigrant who didn’t speak English well. He had trouble figuring out his purpose and dropped out of school. He was a janitor at a Frito-Lay plant in California.

One day he saw a video where the Frito-Lay CEO told all the employees that they should be thinking like owners of the business. They should be looking for ways to improve the company and make it more competitive. Richard took that to heart.

He liked spicy foods. One day, thinking like the owner, inspiration hit.

“I see the corn man adding butter, cheese and chile to the corn and thought, what if I add chile to a Cheeto?”

He went home and experimented. His friends and family loved the spicy Cheetos. Richard could have stopped right there, but he didn’t.

He kept thinking like an owner. He called the CEO and got an appointment to pitch the executives on his new product. He bought his first tie, got a marketing strategy book from the library, and went for it.

The CEO loved his concoction and “Flaming Hot Cheetos” were born.

Richard is now Executive VP, Multicultural Sales and Community Activation, for PepsiCo North America. He serves on several boards, has spoken at the United Nations and has even met presidents.

He says it’s all the result of his Ph.D. (poor, hungry and determined) and thinking like the owner.

It doesn’t matter what your title is or where you work, you really are your own boss. You get to decide if you work, where you work, what type of work you do, how to increase the value you provide, how and if you continue to grow, and where you’re going to work next. You get to decide to be happy or miserable, or to do something about how you feel.

Of course there are consequences to choices, but you get to make these choices. Don’t give your power to decide to someone else, circumstances, or society. If it feels like someone else is making these decisions for you, reclaim your power. Do what it takes to make the choices you want to make. Use your power to pursue your Passionate Purpose.

No matter where you work, or what you do, no one can stop you from thinking like the owner except you.

You may need to keep working somewhere that isn’t your ideal choice in order to pay the bills. That’s ok. While you’re there, do your best, think like the owner, and keep working to make the right choices to create your extraordinary life.

I’ve had to do that multiple times in my life. I worked as a ditch digger and construction worker as I was pursuing my job as a mental health counselor. I worked overnights at a mental health facility while beginning my radio career. I kept working on the radio, and even sold insurance, while I worked on my speaking, coaching, and podcasting business.

Keep learning and developing your skills wherever you are right now. You will use them all as you make the choices to get where you want to be.

Questions for comment: What can you do to think like the owner? What new idea or way of doing things could make a big difference?

LET’S GO!

Are you searching for your Passionate Purpose? Start with my free gift, 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

 

Two of the most POWERFUL words we don’t use enough

In our personal relationships and in business

thanks

How do you feel when you get a real thank you? I’m not talking about a “thanks” for holding the door, passing the ketchup, or a perfunctory thanks for taking my phone call. Those are all fine, but how do you feel when you get a sincere, meaningful thank you? How do you feel when someone looks you in the eye, gives you a firm handshake – or even a hug – and says, “I really want to thank you for ________. It means a lot to me and I’ll never forget it.”? How do you feel when someone hand writes you a heartfelt message and a “Thank You” on personal stationery?

Awesome, right?

“A sincere ‘thank you’ can change the day – even the life – of the receiver and the giver. Who do you need to thank today?” 

A sincere, “thank you” creates an emotional bond between both parties. It encourages the person you’re thanking. It lets them know they count in this world, they’re making a difference, and they touched your life. It also makes you feel better, elevates your relationships, and often leads to more business (bonus!).

So why don’t we do it more? We tell ourselves:

  • We’re busy
  • The other person knows we appreciate them and doesn’t care if we say “thank you” anyway
  • We don’t know how to say it
  • It’s too much trouble.

All wrong.

Here’s how we need to answer those negative thoughts we tell ourselves:

  • We’re busy – Everyone’s busy, but no one’s too busy to give or receive a thank you 
  • The other person knows we appreciate them and doesn’t care if we say “thank you” anyway – The other person doesn’t know how you feel unless you tell them, and they do care
  • We don’t know how to say it –  Just say what you feel
  • It’s too much trouble – It only takes a few minutes and can cause joy and even miracles.

I think there’s one other reason we don’t say thank you enough…It can be scary.

When you admit that you needed someone’s help, or you couldn’t have done it without them, or you care about someone, you are making yourself vulnerable.

Being vulnerable does open you up to being hurt, but it also opens you up to deeper relationships and bigger opportunities.

You can take the risk to be vulnerable, offer a sincere thank you,  and make an impact.  Or you can play it “safe,” stay quiet, and miss your opportunity. Which will you choose?

Questions for comments: Who are you going to sincerely thank today? What happened when you did?

I want to give as many people as possible my free eBook, 5 Steps to Finding Your Purpose. Please forward this to a friend who needs it. If they click here, they can get the free eBook.

Let’s GO!

You Are Powerless…Unless

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Greg, I don’t have any power. No one listens to me. My work doesn’t matter. My vote doesn’t matter. Nothing I do really matters. I’m powerless.

Do you ever think thoughts like that? I know I do.

You’re right…unless.

I saw a great speaker at church last Sunday night. He was talking to us about parenting and he said any influence you have with your children is dependent on the relationship you have with them.

That struck a chord with me. When my dad and I were getting along well and had a good father/son relationship, I hung on his every word. I wanted to be like him. When our relationship was strained, I turned to my friends for guidance on how to live and what to do.

The speaker told us how he had a very tough time in school. At 13, he was tall and sickly thin – so thin he couldn’t even play sports. He also had horrible acne with pimples as big as nickels.

Kids can be mean and every day at school was misery. But more mornings than not, his mother would stop him at the door, as he was about to leave, look him in the eye and say, “I know it’s hard for you right now. But I want you to know that I believe in you. I love you. God loves you, and he has big things planned for you.”

Because he had a great relationship with his mother, her words had great influence on him. They carried him through the tough days. Later in life those words rang in his ears as he started to write the first of 24 books. They encouraged him as he preached to 8,000 people on the steps of our nation’s capital.

Her relationship with her son gave her great power and influence with him.

I think it’s the same for every part of our lives. Our power is derived from the relationships we have with people, not from our title or perceived power.

We’ve all seen the boss who has very little influence with his employees because he has a horrible relationship with them. He can fire them, but he can’t get them to do their best for him.

How about the politician who becomes known for corruption and lying? Who wants to continue to volunteer to help her win re-election?

But, when your family, friends, coworkers, and followers know you care about them – when you have invested in deep relationships with them – they are willing to run through brick walls for you.

You matter to them. And they matter to you.

True, caring, deep relationships give you great power and influence.

How can you grow your most important relationships to have more power for good than you’ve ever imagined?

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

How to Help Each Other Succeed

partners

Motivation is a tricky thing. It waxes and wanes like the moon. Some people claim motivation doesn’t work because it wears off.

Hold on, I eat three (or five) times a day. I guess I should just stop eating. It wears off.
I work out three times a week. I guess I should just stop exercising. It wears off.
I shower every day. I guess I should just stop showering. It wears off.

Sounds kind of ridiculous, doesn’t it? EVERYTHING wears off.

The question is, how do you stay motivated to pursue your Passionate Purpose? A big helper in that is finding an accountability partner. The word “partner,” is important here. This is going to be a mutually beneficial relationship. You are going to motivate each other.

So, find someone you like and trust who is also looking for an accountability partner. It should be someone who shares your desire for an extraordinary life, someone who will support you in your efforts and kick you in the butt when you need it.

I find the best accountability partners are people who want you to hold them accountable for goals they’re working on in their life as well. When you encourage each other AND hold each other accountable, great things happen. Once you find one:

  • Tell each other exactly what you want and why you want it
  • Set a date for when will complete “x”
  • Determine how will you know you’ve done it
  • Schedule a weekly phone call to review the past week’s activities towards your goals
  • If necessary, exchange an accountability email half way through the week
  • Encourage and challenge each other to keep going

To be clear, the content of the call and the email is simple:

1) What did you say you would do this week?

2) What work have you done on that?

3) What went right?

4) What didn’t go so well?

5) What’s holding you back?

6) What adjustments do you need to make to improve your progress?

7) What can you do to help your partner?

Warning:

As you work on your Passionate Purpose, you will hit plateaus. Expect it and be ready to do the work necessary to break through them.

Fear and doubt will creep in from time to time.

Some of your friends and family may feed your fear and doubt by telling you your wasting your time, or that living an extraordinary life is for the lucky few, not you.

Some will do this because they think they’re protecting you from disappointment. Sadly, some will do this because they’re jealous of your aspirations and achievements.

You will overcome that by leaning on why you want this new life, on your passionate purpose, on your skills, abilities and experience.

You can do it. And there are plenty of people who WANT you to succeed. Lean on them, too.

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

Day 1 of Your New Life

If you are at the point where you want to change your life, I’m excited for you. This is Day 1 of Your New Life.

To get started, I’ve got some questions: Why do you want to change your life?

Because I’m not happy, Greg. Jeez!

I get that things aren’t where you want them to be. I’m not trying to get down on you, I’m just trying to help you get clear on why you must change. That will keep you going when the journey gets tough.

During my coaching session this morning I asked my client, “Why do you want to change your life?”

He said that was a good question and he’d have to think about it for a minute. He already knew down deep, but I don’t think he’d ever taken the time to articulate it and bring it to his conscious mind.

After a few moments he said, “Greg, I’m tired of just going through the motions. I’m not sure if I know my purpose. I think if I can figure that out, it will help me make the changes to make my life better.”

That was a start. I then followed up with, “What do you mean by ‘better’?”

He replied that he wanted to earn an income to provide for his family so they could live in a better neighborhood with better schools and they would have everything they need.

“Beyond that, Greg, I feel stuck. I don’t know where I’m going next. I don’t feel needed where I work, and my self-confidence is low. I want to find purpose in my life and work so I can love what I do and take care of my family.”

Now, we were getting somewhere.

Why must you change?

Take some time to figure it out and write it down. Make it as real and emotional as you can.

Do you want to be more excited about your career, your spouse, your relationships, your family, and your spiritual development?

Do you want freedom to control your own time, career, vacation, and life? Freedom to travel the world with the people you love?

Do you want to generate abundant amounts of income so you can do everything you’ve ever dreamed of, take care of your family, and give to help others?

Why must you change your life?

Once you’ve figured that out, you can move on to what you want and how to start doing it. We’ll do that next.

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

How Trying to Show How Smart I (think) I Am Hurt Me

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We all want to connect with people, right? We want to form good relationships in and out of the workplace. We want to be respected. We want people to know how smart and great we are!

Okay, Greg, you lost me on that last one.

Did I? Maybe it’s just me. Sometimes I notice that I have an unhealthy desire to make sure the people I’m dealing with know I’m smart, accomplished, successful…(Geez, just writing this out makes me feel like a jerk.) What adds insult to injury is that when I do this, it doesn’t help me it hurts me. It also hurts the person I’m trying to show up. So, why do I do it?

I rationalize that I mainly fall into this trap when the person I’m dealing with is putting out signals that he thinks he’s better than me. To which I brilliantly respond by thinking, “He thinks he’s better than me? Who does he think he is? I’ll show him!”

Yes, brilliant. That will get him to like me/buy from me/want to do business with me.

Wrong.

This kind of thing just happened the other day. I told myself a story that the guy I was talking with was acting like he was way better than me. So, I started talking, and talking, and talking to prove how much I knew, how smart I was, why he should listen to me, blah, blah, blah.

Then I realized what I was doing. I physically felt ill at my actions. So, I stopped. I apologized for dominating the conversation and started asking him questions. I learned a lot and actually started a friendship.

How many times do we tear down the relationships and influence we are trying to build with the need to make sure the other guy knows we’re pretty cool stuff?

We can fall into this trap with our bosses, the people we manage, our children, our spouses, our preachers…

What helps me with this is being secure in who I am, yet working at remaining humble. I remember that we are all equal in God’s eyes, that everyone knows something I don’t know, and that I will learn more and make more friends by asking questions and listening than by trying to show off.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
-C. S. Lewis

I also remember what my dad used to tell me, “Some people are thought to be fools. Others open their mouths and prove it.”

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

Workin’ Hard Getting Nothing Done

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We all work hard and it seems like there’s always more work to be done. My last two posts were on 7 Steps to Having More Time. (Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2)

I’ve noticed something about myself and I’m wondering if it’s the same for you. When I plan out my day to focus on my most important thing and stick to the plan I get a ton done.

“Most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, ‘Is this necessary?'”
— Marcus Aurelius

When I just have an idea of what I’m going to do, I don’t get as much done. Yet, I still feel like I worked just as hard. How does that happen?

This morning I realized how it happens for me.

I work from home in the mornings and I had great plans on important things to do. But, first I decided I needed to merge my domain email with my Gmail account — 40 minutes gone. Next, I decided I needed to upload the video of my daughter’s performance with the Starlight Stars. My phone didn’t sync with my Mac, so I had to download a program – 30 minutes gone.

Then I noticed a few hundred photos on my phone that were taking up space so I decided I needed to upload select photos from my phone to my Mac – another 20 minutes gone.

And so it went:

Send YouTube video I created to a contact (and watch some of my old ones) – 30 minutes

Check and reply to FB messages and notifications – 10 minutes

Check my LinkedIn account and reply to messages – 10 minutes

Renew my library books online – 5 minutes

I finally shook myself and realized that although I felt like I was working I had spent almost 2 hours doing absolutely no work on my most important thing. Not good.

I hadn’t planned well, and I wasn’t even sticking to my not so great plan. It wasn’t that the things I was doing were bad, it’s just that they were taking me away from the more productive things I really wanted to get done.

Focus, Grasshopper, focus.

At the end of the day we’re usually tired. If we’ve run around all day chasing our tail, putting out fires and just doing “work” we will experience an empty, dissatisfied, frustrated kind of tired.

If we focus on what’s essential and make great progress on that, we will experience a job well done, life is good, now I’ve earned some relaxation time kind of tired.

Questions for comments: How do you stay focused on your plan?

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

You Are Not Average – No One Is, Actually

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Wait a second, I agree that I’m not average, but lots of people are average. Hello, Greg that’s how they come up with average – it’s most people!

That’s the funny thing. Todd Rose has done a bunch of research on this and he’s found that not one person is truly average. The averages are made up of statistical models of measurements of all kinds of people, but not one person really fits all the measurements.

Yet, we still try to fit people into the average box. We base our schools on the average child. We base what college we can get into on how far above average our GPA is and how far beyond average we can score on standardized tests. We get hired for our first job in much the same way.

Why? Does real world success correlate closely with those things?

Not really. There is a ton of data showing the correlation is weak.

In Rose’s book, The End of Average: How We Succeed in a World that Values Sameness, you learn how to leverage your uniqueness for uncommon achievement and joy.

The ideas in the book help you in your role as a parent, entrepreneur, team leader, and employee.

Listen to my interview with Todd:

 

Here’s Todd giving a Harvard 8×8 talk about his book.

Questions for comments: What is unique about you that has helped or hurt you? How can you leverage it for even more success?

Who Are You Listening to and Why?

Listening

Are you listening to the world or yourself? The world will demand you meet its needs if you let it. It will give you all kinds of reasons to do what it tells you. It will result in a never-ending game of When-Then.

When you get that job, promotion, bonus, or new house Then you will be happy, respected, and successful.

When you create a real light saber, Then you will become the coolest dad in the universe. (Wait, don’t write that, Greg. Use your inside voice on that one.)

When-Then always leaves us wanting more and much less happy than we thought we’d be.

The world will whisper that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. Your job isn’t prestigious or important enough. You don’t do anything significant. You don’t really count and you never will.

Man, the world is kind of a jerk.

Yup. So why do we listen to it?

Listen to yourself and follow your Passionate Purpose to be happier, more successful, more significant and a better person for all you love. You get to decide what’s important to you and your family. Don’t give that power to anyone else.

Why are you doing what you’re doing right now? Are you happy with that answer?

When passion and desire meet you have tremendous power. When you put everything into it – you have more enjoyment and success. Don’t murder your dreams by telling yourself you can’t do what you feel you were born to do.

Living an extraordinary life isn’t just for the special or elite. Everyone can do it, but not everyone will do it.

Decide what you want, why you want it, and start today with some baby steps to get there. It doesn’t have to be a huge leap, but you do have to begin.

Questions for comments: What baby steps can you take today to get started?