Three Answers You Should Never Give Yourself

We ask ourselves questions every day and our brain always answers. Sometimes it’s consciously and sometimes it’s unconsciously, but it always answers. Are you asking the right questions and getting the right answers?

“Why does this always happen to me?” “Why am I so stupid?”

Your brain will make up an answer. Do you really want to hear it?

So, start with better questions: “What is my purpose?” “What are my passions?” “How can I start my own business?” “What can I do to serve people that will cause them to line up to give me their money?” “What can I do to make a difference?” “How can I have more freedom in my life?”

What are your questions?

When you ask yourself a question that really matters to you, here are three answers you should never give yourself:

1) “I don’t know.” The correct answer is, “I don’t know…yet, but I know how to find out.” Think about all the things in your business and life you didn’t used to know how to do. Not too long ago I had no idea how to write and publish a book, or how to create a blog, or how to simultaneously post on 3 social media sites, or create an automated email campaign. But, I learned how and you can learn anything you need to know.

It’s never been easier to find out how to do something. Type in “how to _____” into Google or YouTube and we have incredible information at our fingertips. From blogs, books, online courses, videos, podcasts, ebooks, and more, there is a way to find your answers.

2) “I can’t.” The correct answer is “I can figure out how to do it,” or “I can get someone else to do that for me,” or “I can do something similar instead.”

What good has it ever brought you?

3) “I don’t care.” You do care, or you wouldn’t consistently be asking yourself the same question. So why are you using that as your answer when you don’t mean it? Is it fear? Is it a belief that you can’t do it, so acting like you don’t care makes that easier to swallow? You need to figure that out so you can get to the answer you want.

Action Steps:

Start asking yourself questions that will get you what you want. Write them down. Ask yourself these questions every day.

When you get an answer that resonates with you, take action immediately.

Don’t accept the answers: I don’t know. I can’t. I don’t care.

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

 

Day 1 of Your New Life

If you are at the point where you want to change your life, I’m excited for you. This is Day 1 of Your New Life.

To get started, I’ve got some questions: Why do you want to change your life?

Because I’m not happy, Greg. Jeez!

I get that things aren’t where you want them to be. I’m not trying to get down on you, I’m just trying to help you get clear on why you must change. That will keep you going when the journey gets tough.

During my coaching session this morning I asked my client, “Why do you want to change your life?”

He said that was a good question and he’d have to think about it for a minute. He already knew down deep, but I don’t think he’d ever taken the time to articulate it and bring it to his conscious mind.

After a few moments he said, “Greg, I’m tired of just going through the motions. I’m not sure if I know my purpose. I think if I can figure that out, it will help me make the changes to make my life better.”

That was a start. I then followed up with, “What do you mean by ‘better’?”

He replied that he wanted to earn an income to provide for his family so they could live in a better neighborhood with better schools and they would have everything they need.

“Beyond that, Greg, I feel stuck. I don’t know where I’m going next. I don’t feel needed where I work, and my self-confidence is low. I want to find purpose in my life and work so I can love what I do and take care of my family.”

Now, we were getting somewhere.

Why must you change?

Take some time to figure it out and write it down. Make it as real and emotional as you can.

Do you want to be more excited about your career, your spouse, your relationships, your family, and your spiritual development?

Do you want freedom to control your own time, career, vacation, and life? Freedom to travel the world with the people you love?

Do you want to generate abundant amounts of income so you can do everything you’ve ever dreamed of, take care of your family, and give to help others?

Why must you change your life?

Once you’ve figured that out, you can move on to what you want and how to start doing it. We’ll do that next.

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

Is THIS Your Opportunity to Succeed or Give Up? — Yes

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My daughter has a stomach bug and she asked me to watch a movie with her. She decided on, Joy, with Jennifer Lawrence. It’s the story of how a divorced mother of two, living with a very dysfunctional family, went from nothing to creating a multimillion dollar business empire.

The film is loosely based on the life of Joy Mangano, the inventor of the Miracle Mop. I thought the movie was just ok, but even Hollywood messing with the truth, the messages I took from Joy are great.

Joy had family troubles, house troubles, ex-husband troubles, work troubles, financial troubles and legal troubles. Most people would have given up. Her mom did give up – she just laid in bed watching soap operas all day. Joy could have followed that example, but instead she kept making the choice to take action and succeed. (Yes, that is a choice.)

I keep noticing that the biggest difference between success and failure is not giving up. I’m not saying that’s easy. I know I’ve had times when I wanted to give up. In fact, I have given up before, and then gotten back in the game. What’s stopping you from getting back in the game? You haven’t failed until you’ve given up permanently.

What will you choose to do with your next opportunity? Keep going and tweaking it until you succeed, or get discouraged and give up?

Unfortunately, just about everyone in Joy’s family discouraged her. They told her that her business ideas wouldn’t work, that she wasn’t smart enough, and she was “just an unemployed housewife.” She almost allowed them to be right.

How many people – some of them meaning well – are pulling you down and preventing you from pursuing your Passionate Purpose? How long will you let them? What can you do today to change that dynamic in your life?

Joy’s Grandma, daughter, ex-husband, and best friend believed in her. She leaned on them for support. We all need that. Who does that for you?

Action steps:

  1. Actively seek out and spend more time with your supporters. Bounce your ideas off them. Thank them.
  2. Avoid the energy vampires. Remember, they can only hurt you if you let them.
  3. Figure it out: Is THIS your opportunity to succeed or give up? The answer is, yes. Which one will you choose? What can you do right now to pursue your current, best opportunity?

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

Can YOU Really Get the Life You Want? Yes! If…

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You’re excited about the idea of finding and pursuing your passionate purpose. You’ve visited a few websites about it, watched some videos, and maybe even read a book about how to do it. You’ve been dreaming about what your best life would look like.

But…nothing’s changed. You aren’t taking action. Five years ago you were in the same situation and a year from now?

Why?

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
–Amelia Earhart

If you read my blog, social media posts and book, you know I’m a super positive, encouraging, optimistic guy. (And humble!)

But, let’s get real here, ya’ll. Tough love time. IF you really want to live an extraordinary life where you pursue your Passionate Purpose, I can’t sugar coat this.

If you have thought about it – or tried to do it – before and failed, you’ve made excuses.

Here are some that I’ve heard (and used myself from time to time).

  • Only the lucky few get to do that
  • I’m not rich enough
  • I’m afraid I’ll fail
  • I don’t have the right connections
  • I’m not a genius
  • I’m afraid I’ll lose all my money
  • You have to be really talented to do that
  • I don’t know how to do it
  • I’m afraid I’ll get divorced over it
  • I don’t want to sacrifice my wife/husband/kids/relationships to do that
  • I’m not educated enough
  • Now’s not the right time
  • It’s too hard
  • I won’t make enough money to live on if I do that
  • I’m not good enough
  • I don’t deserve it
  • People from my family don’t do that
  • It’s selfish and greedy to want to do that
  • I don’t have enough time to do everything I would need to do
  • I’ll do it someday

Those are just some of the excuses I’ve heard to make people feel better about giving up on their dreams. I’m sure you could help me come up with more. Some of these concerns are real. I don’t want to suggest that going after what you really want is easy and requires no sacrifice. That’s just dreaming.

But, if you really want to pursue your Passionate Purpose and go after that extraordinary life, you have got to cowboy up for a serious ride.

Do you really want to look back on your life and list the excuses why you never tried? Do you want to use your children, spouse and friends as human shields to protect you from your fears of going for something great? Do you really believe that ALL successful people are divorced, greedy, horrible human beings who sacrificed all their values to get where they are in life?

Am I going to stop talking in questions? Yes. Right now.

The reason you aren’t taking action and going after this isn’t because you don’t have talent—nothing in the world is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. It’s not because you aren’t smart enough, don’t know the right people, or don’t have enough money to get started. It’s not because you don’t have enough time. We all have the same 24 hours in each day.

Look, all the excuses really boil down to one. Fear.

Change is scary. All those excuses we listed create fear. Your mind is screaming at you to avoid fear and risk. Subconsciously, your brain is telling you that you get more out of not changing than you think you would get out of changing.

IF you really want this, it’s time to convince yourself these aren’t just wants, they are needs.

Time to convince yourself that the fear and pain that always comes with change is worth it for the chance to live the extraordinary life of your dreams.

Time to convince yourself that NOT changing is risky, too. Imagine living your whole life and NEVER going for what you could have had!

If you are tired of just getting by and letting days, months, and years slip past without achieving what you know you were put on this earth by your Creator to do, then now is the time.

Get your mindset right.
Understand fear creeps in but can be handled.
Determine what you want.
Set your course.
Take action.
GO!

How much longer will you wait?

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

More People Care About You Than You Know

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Sometimes something bad has to happen for you to realize how many people care about you.  I just found that out and I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of support and encouragement I have received from people who care about me.

I bet you have many more people who care about you than you know as well. (I just hope you don’t have to experience something bad to discover it.)

After my radio show last Wednesday I was told that corporate was looking at saving money and decided the best way to do that was to lay me off. For the past 5 years I have consistently had the highest ratings on the station, so I was told repeatedly it was not about my performance. My general manager was very kind in telling me how much she appreciated my show and my work.

This sometimes happens in radio. Does it stink and hurt? Yeah, but I get it. I’ve been in the business for 20 years now. It’s actually been great to me. I’ve had more fun and made more money at it than anything else I’ve done in my life. And it’s not over, yet. This is just a temporary setback. I’ve already had people express interest in my show and I’m excited about what might come next.

I hope this doesn’t come off as humble bragging but I really want to thank everyone publicly who reached out to me and share with you why I feel so good on the heels of losing my radio show. I sincerely thank you for reaching out and lifting me up. I can’t express in words how much each of your comments mean to me.

I’m really energized about how I can use this time to ramp up my Personal Development business. I love speaking to organizations, colleges, high schools and churches on the power of purpose and how it can change your life and work.

I love coaching people to help them find and pursue their Passionate Purpose.

I’m starting to write my second book and creating online courses.

Just this week I’ve had three new speaking engagements booked and two new coaching clients.

What I’m even more excited about and what blew me away was the response I received after I posted on my Facebook page that my show was taken off the air. Kind words and messages came flooding in from friends, family, and listeners of my show.

You told me how my book has changed your life. (That makes me feel incredible.)

You asked if I could coach you.

You told me how you felt like I was your friend because of how I related to you on the radio everyday. (That’s the best compliment I could ever get about my show. Every time I turn on the microphone I picture myself talking to a friend. When you feel that, I’ve done my job.)

You told me how you made a point to tune into my show everyday because I entertained you, informed you and made you feel something.

You praised me for being so prepared for every show. (That one really got me because I pride myself on reading and being over-prepared each day.)

You asked me to send you information on my speaking so you can help book me to present at your company’s convention.

You prayed for me. One of you even called me up and said a prayer for me right on the spot.

Awesome.
Overwhelming.
Humbling.

I had no idea how many people cared about me and wanted the best for me. It has lifted me up as I’ve pondered what’s next.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I am at peace with the idea that better things are coming. I know I’m here for a purpose and God has plans for me.

It’s time for me to keep practicing what I preach. I know my Passionate Purpose is to help as many other people and organizations find their Passionate Purpose as possible so they can live out the extraordinary lives of their dreams.

That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

What are you going to do?

Thanks so much for caring about me. Let me know what I can do to help you.

Let’s GO!

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose. You can also purchase my book, GO!

The One Thing I Know Works – That I Keep Forgetting to Do

We all know setting goals works. We know that writing them down is crucial. We know that creating a plan and taking daily action to achieve those goals gets us there faster.

We also know that most people rarely even begin this process and those of us who do, don’t always follow through.

I’m giving a speech on this next week and while I was writing it, rewriting it and rehearsing it I realized I’m not practicing what I preach.

I’m not reading my top 3 goals every morning and every night.

My daily, weekly, and monthly plans aren’t keeping up with my goals.

My written goals are out of date.

I’m doing a lot of things on the fly and it’s slowing me down.

Has this happened to you?

How long has it been since you took a few hours, gotten away from all distractions and figured out what you really want? How long since you wrote it down, wrote down your plan to get there, and started taking action every day?

It’s worth the time.

I just did this again yesterday. I want to help you do it, too.

I working on building my speaking business so I created this goal:

“I am so thankful that I am serving and helping people by giving 2 speeches a month to organizations, colleges, and churches for $$$$ each on 10/12/2016 or something even better.”

I made my goal:

• Specific and definite
• Measurable
• Stated in the present tense as if you already have it
• Positive
• With a deadline
• Open to something even better that you might not have thought of

Then I created a plan of action. I figured that for every 10 organizations I offer to speak to, I might get one to book me. So, I need to reach out to at least 20 a month to land 2 speaking gigs a month.

I also committed to asking everyone I know if they know any organizations that could benefit from my messages. I got three great leads out of that right away.

Next I created cold email templates for the different types of organizations I’m looking to present to. I used the Internet to find the right people and started emailing. I’ll keep you posted on the results I get.

I’m getting back into the habit of reading my top 3 goals every morning and every night. It keeps me focused and it keeps my mind thinking of new ways to make my goals become my reality.

Action steps:

1) Schedule four hours and a special place to go where no one will bother you.
2) Download the worksheets in my my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.
3) GO!

Questions for comments: Do you notice a difference in your life when you have written goals and written plans to achieve them? What’s different?

How Trying to Show How Smart I (think) I Am Hurt Me

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We all want to connect with people, right? We want to form good relationships in and out of the workplace. We want to be respected. We want people to know how smart and great we are!

Okay, Greg, you lost me on that last one.

Did I? Maybe it’s just me. Sometimes I notice that I have an unhealthy desire to make sure the people I’m dealing with know I’m smart, accomplished, successful…(Geez, just writing this out makes me feel like a jerk.) What adds insult to injury is that when I do this, it doesn’t help me it hurts me. It also hurts the person I’m trying to show up. So, why do I do it?

I rationalize that I mainly fall into this trap when the person I’m dealing with is putting out signals that he thinks he’s better than me. To which I brilliantly respond by thinking, “He thinks he’s better than me? Who does he think he is? I’ll show him!”

Yes, brilliant. That will get him to like me/buy from me/want to do business with me.

Wrong.

This kind of thing just happened the other day. I told myself a story that the guy I was talking with was acting like he was way better than me. So, I started talking, and talking, and talking to prove how much I knew, how smart I was, why he should listen to me, blah, blah, blah.

Then I realized what I was doing. I physically felt ill at my actions. So, I stopped. I apologized for dominating the conversation and started asking him questions. I learned a lot and actually started a friendship.

How many times do we tear down the relationships and influence we are trying to build with the need to make sure the other guy knows we’re pretty cool stuff?

We can fall into this trap with our bosses, the people we manage, our children, our spouses, our preachers…

What helps me with this is being secure in who I am, yet working at remaining humble. I remember that we are all equal in God’s eyes, that everyone knows something I don’t know, and that I will learn more and make more friends by asking questions and listening than by trying to show off.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
-C. S. Lewis

I also remember what my dad used to tell me, “Some people are thought to be fools. Others open their mouths and prove it.”

If this post resonated with you, Please subscribe to my blog and get my free eBook — 5 Steps to Finding Your Passionate Purpose.

Who Else Wants to Overcome Your Obstacles?

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You have big dreams and big plans. You have educated yourself, set your goal and worked towards it. But, you see some obstacles in your way and you want to make sure everything is just right before you act, right?

That’s how we all get sometimes. It is good to plan, but there is never a time when everything is just right. If you wait for that moment, you will never take action.

But, Greg, what if I go for it and fail? What if I’m rejected?

Great questions. This is where we remind ourselves the simple truths that we often forget. If you never take action, aren’t you failing already? If you learn from a failure or a rejection, can’t you just take action again in a better way that has a greater chance of success? Isn’t taking action how you have achieved your success so far?

Aren’t all these objections to taking action really just a way we hide from our fear?

I just met a new friend yesterday who reminded me of how I wasn’t taking action and was giving in to fear. I have so many things I want to launch, but I find myself waiting until everything is just right.

He asked about how I got started in radio and I remembered – I took action.

He asked how my show became nationally syndicated and I remembered – I took action.

Then I started remembering how I wrote my book, started my blog and started speaking – I took action.

Everything wasn’t even close to being just right. But, by taking action, things started to come together. I met people who helped me. I learned things that helped me. I gained momentum and confidence and kept taking action.

My new friend hit me with it hard when we were talking about how I could increase my speaking business. He said, “You should see if you can work with Dave Ramsey. He endorsed your book and you would fit in great with him.” I told him I agreed.

“Then why don’t you call him and ask — today?”

Great question.

So, I did.

I also wanted to set up a speech at a friend’s business, so I called and asked him. I took action.

It was a little scary, but it felt great.

What have you been thinking about doing but you’ve let fear stop you? Take action.

Ask.

Do.

Go!

You will be surprised how fast fear falls and miracles happen.

Questions for comment: What have you been planning but not doing? How did you take action? What happened when you took action?

If It Was Easy, Everyone Would Do It

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Finding and pursuing your Passionate Purpose seems like a lot of work. (And I still haven’t watched all of Shark Week that I DVRd.) It is a lot of work. It’s a lot easier to coast through days, weeks, months, and years, never putting out the effort to live that extraordinary life.

But that’s not what you want. You want something different. You are all in on pursuing your Passionate Purpose. You are going to capitalize on that by increasing your income to the point you can change your family tree, give to others, live where you want, travel where and when you want, do what you want, and be financially free.

So when you get tired, or down, or you question yourself just remember, yes, all the hard work is worth it. If you do it right, you will also enjoy the entire journey.

I know it can be overwhelming to imagine that you are going to become the person who can do everything you must do to achieve all your dreams.

It will take time.

It will take effort.

It won’t go in a straight line.

You will hit walls.

But if you continually think about what you want and who you want to be, make a commitment to it, and consistently take action every day, you will succeed…

…and it will be worth it.

Get moving on something that will start you on the path to finding and pursuing your Passionate Purpose. After all, the years will go by either way. Do you want to look back twenty years from now and say I just kept making a living, or do you want to look back and say that was when I decided to start earning an extraordinary life?

My hope for you is that you get started right now on your Passionate Purpose. What are you waiting for?

Go.

Now.

Why are you still sitting there? GO!

One Habit That’s Hurting Your Relationships and Career

Most of us focus on what we need to do. That’s good. But, what if some of the things we do are holding us back? Shouldn’t we work on those?

I realized this week how much I avoid people who complain. Then I realized that Icomplain too much. So I started thinking. Am I losing friends and influence every time I complain? How about you? And, what can we do to complain less?

I have a friend who likes to complain to me. I have been an empathetic sounding board. I have tried to help him generate solutions to his problems. I have simply nodded, said mmm a lot, and reflected back to him what he says. I’ve tried it all.

None of it seems to help. It’s the same thing every day. I now find myself looking for ways to avoid him. I think his boss is starting to feel the same way.

Doesn’t he see how this is hurting him? Doesn’t it make him miserable? What could he possibly get out of it that keeps him doing it?

As I was enjoying the view from my high horse it slowly dawned on me that I sometimes do this too. (And I’m a guy who blogs about personal development all the time!)

We all complain at times. It can really hurt our relationships in and out of the workplace. So why do we keep doing it? Complaining does have some positive outcomes.

  • It may make us feel better by “venting”
  • Someone may validate our feelings
  • It occasionally leads to someone else fixing the problem
  • You fit in with the other complainers

But the short and long-term consequences of complaining are way worse.

  • You lose friends and people avoid you
  • It leads to difficulty in your home life
  • You’re passed over for promotions or fired
  • You get fewer clients and sales
  • It contributes to a bad attitude and miserable life

I’m sure you can add to these lists.

Hold on, Greg, sometimes I need to complain. You don’t know what happened to me today!

Hey, I’m not the complaining Nazi. I get it. But how about greatly reducing your complaints and only doing complaining in a way that will help you?

Action Steps:

1) Keep track of every time you complain for one week. You need to know if this is a real problem for you. You might be shocked.

2) Start the day with the right mindset. Focus on all the good in your life. Who loves you? Who do you love? What makes you smile? You can find time to do this right when you wake up or on your commute to work. List what your grateful for. Pray. Before you poopoo this, try it. (I will not be poopooed!)

3) When you are about to complain, stop yourself. Use the A-B-C techniques in Rational Emotive Therapy to make sure you are thinking logically about the problem and responding rationally to it.

4) Turn your complaint into an idea for a solution. What can you do to fix the problem? Are you talking to the right person to fix it? Friends, family and bosses love people who have solutions. You’ll be surprised how often your solution, or something close to it, is implemented. Even if it isn’t, people will see you as a positive, solution oriented person instead of someone who complains all the time.

5) Find a complaint friend if you really have to vent. My wife and I do this for each other. We use each other to vent the big things that really tick us off. That way we don’t complain to everyone else. (Be careful here, we still limit how much we complain to each other or we will drive each other crazy.)

Question: What techniques do you use to minimize complaining?