Are you at a point in your life where something needs to change? Do you feel stuck, maybe even trapped? Are you just drifting through life doing all the things you’re “supposed” to do, but not going after the things you really want to do? Deep down do you feel like you were meant for something more than this? Are you frustrated that you don’t know how to have your breakthrough?
What if I told you the way to start is to turn inward?
I am very big on the idea of asking yourself empowering questions. (It’s a big part of how I coach my clients to create the goals and plans they use to create extraordinary lives.) We ask ourselves questions all the time. For good and bad, our brains come up with answers no matter what we ask.
Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
How could I be so stupid?! (You aren’t, but your brain will come up with an answer.)
Why does this always happen to me?! (It doesn’t, but your brain will assume it does and come up with reasons why.)
Why do I constantly fail? (Of course you don’t fail constantly, but your brain will rationalize that for you, too.)
Those types of questions won’t help you get where you want to go. They beat you down and waste your time. They can even become self fulfilling prophecies. Remember what Henry Ford said, “If you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”
Let’s ask questions that encourage you, lift you up, get you excited, and lead to the results you want. But first we have to get clear on a few things.
Why do you want to change your life?
Because I’m not happy, Greg. Jeez!
Hey, I get that things aren’t where you want them to be. I’m not trying to get down on you, I’m just trying to help you get clear on why you must change. That will keep you going when the journey gets tough.
It all starts with your why – your purpose. Then we can get to what you really want and the obstacles holding you back from starting to get it.
During a recent coaching session I asked my client, “Why do you want to change your life?”
He said he’d have to think about it for a minute. He already knew down deep, but I don’t think he’d ever taken the time to articulate it and bring it to his conscious mind.
After a few moments he said, “Greg, I’m tired of just going through the motions. I’m not sure if I know my purpose. I think if I can figure that out, it will help me make the changes to make my life better.”
That was a start. I then followed up with, “What do you mean by better?”
He replied that he wanted to earn an income to provide for his family so they could live in a better neighborhood with better schools and they would have everything they need.
“Beyond that, Greg, I feel stuck. I don’t know where I’m going next. I don’t feel needed where I work, and my self-confidence is low. I want to find purpose in my life and work so I can love what I do and take care of my family.”
Now, we were getting somewhere. From there I asked him how that would change his life emotionally, relationally, financially and more.
Do you want to be more excited about your career, your spouse, your relationships, your family, and your spiritual development?
Do you want freedom to control your own time, career, vacation, and life? Freedom to travel the world with the people you love?
Do you want to generate abundant amounts of income so you can do everything you’ve ever dreamed of, take care of your family, and give to help others?
How would that make you feel?
Why must you change your life?
Once you’ve figured that out, you can move on to what you want and how to start doing it.
Ask yourself some empowering questions:
- What’s your why? (the reason you’re willing to do the work to change your life)
- What’s your gift? (talents, skills, abilities to do certain things easier and better than others can)
- What’s your purpose? (the reason, or reasons you were put on the planet)
- What are you doing when you feel great?
- What type of work are you doing when you feel like you’re in the zone or in flow?
- What things have you done that you’re passionate about and that bring you joy?
- What things have you done that you felt brought meaning to your life?
- What are you good, or even great at? (Or what could you become great at?)
- What would your dream job entail?
- What would a terrific relationship with your spouse look like?
- Why do you want to have to change?
- What would be bad about staying exactly the way you are?
- What would be great if you changed?
- What would make the changes worth all the time and effort it’s going to take?
Get your journal out today and answer these questions. Get quiet and still and think deeply. Surface living isn’t getting you what you want. You need to go down deep into yourself to pull out your “why.”
Take at least 30 minutes to answer these questions and write them down.
Magic happens when we write our thoughts down. They become real in a different way than when they are only in our heads.
Make this as real and emotional as you can.
It’s your life and it won’t become what you want by accident.